Learning to be gentle with yourself

Have you ever put pressure on yourself to be, have, or do something?

The other day, a friend and I were sharing on compassion, as an inside job. She shared a drop of wisdom that spoke volumes to me when she said,

“Y’know, it’s important that we remember to also be compassionate with ourselves.”


We were talking about showing compassion to others, when ‘D’ made this power point.

This morning during quiet time (ok, so it’s still quiet time as I write this), the fruit of that conversation stirred and I asked for discernment.

Learning to be compassionate with ourselves helps relieve a lot of the pressure we often subject ourselves to, and reminds us to approach our journey with love, not aggression. This doesn’t mean by any stretch, that it’s A-ok to be lackadaisical with shaping better behavior, alright to treat other shabbily and just shrug it off, “like…well I didn’t mean to,” or totally cool and aloof if we fall through on commitments we make.

It means that there’s no need to go to the extreme and call yourself names, or get all antsy and exasperated when you forget someone’s birthday or slip up sometimes. The same way we show grace to others springs from the grace that’s been gifted to us as a precious gifts to accept, be in awe of and thankful for. It’s important that we follow-through and persevere, and keep on…and it’s also important that we know kindness from the inside out.

We can be tempted to fill our mind and jam-pack our schedules with work, errands, or a barrage of things on the “to-do list.” Yes, being considered a dynamo and “shero” can sound fabulous and look impressive to many, but what’s it cost to maintain that – to sustain it? And are we being kind to ourselves in the process?

I can put pressure on myself in instances when compelled to reach out to someone in need, and find myself taking on what can very well become a part time job if I’m not conscious of pace and healthy boundaries.

Does that ever happen to you? I’m pretty sure most of us can identify in some way; after all – none of us is perfect, and love and compassion are what’s brought us this far. We’re meant to encourage and lend a helping hand where we can. Well, it’s at those times when I’m reminded to take a deep breath, pray for them, and ask for help, in order to help better. When I unwrap the gift of compassion at the home of my heart, and let its sweet aroma fill my mind, it resonates more vibrantly when shared with others, and doesn’t deflate or dissipate as soon as it’s offered.

Being compassionate is also a heavenly instruction, and it’s one of the spiritual articles of clothing designed to enhance the essence of what we’re made of…Love.

I am learning to be more compassionate with myself – with others sometimes is much easier, but in order to be sustainable, I need to tune in, give thanks, and fill up on the oceans of compassion shared with us all by the gift of grace.

Does this ring true for you? What’s one way you can show yourself compassion today? Feel free to share in the comments below. I enjoy reading the lovely messages you send; they go straight to my inbox and I reply to all of them (as soon as I can.) Ciao for now, and thanks for reading!

Related post: “The gift of encouragement”


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2 thoughts on “Learning to be gentle with yourself

  1. In recent years, I have had to constantly remind myself to be more patient and loving with myself, instead of putting so much pressure on myself to get things done. This post is a great reminder to approach my goals in a way that reflects the same care, patience, and love that I give others, when I am encouraging and supporting them.

    Thank you!

  2. Thanks for sharing, and you’re right…it sure is a journey. Happy this post is offering encouragement along the way, my lyrical brotha

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